
Hello! And welcome to the Global Bosonic Product Sales Patter Cheat-Sheet! 

As a front-line salesperson for Matheson-Ford hardware, <strong><em>you </em></strong>determine how customers perceive our products. Will they love our craftsmanship and value, and see them as indispensable helpmates? Or will they fear them as uncontrollable metal monsters? It's all up to you!

Use this Cheat-Sheet to hone your sales patter, and to handle any tricky questions or sticky situations that may arise. Go get 'em, tiger!

 

Start with <strong>The Intro:</strong>

When the target client accepts your video chat invitation, the process begins. Make sure your greeting matches your audience:

If Female&gt;
<em>&quot;Hello Madam! You're looking fit and attractive today, and the olfactory channel of my video chat application tells me you smell fantastic! Let's chat about upgrading your life from good to fabulous using our range of Matheson-Ford Bosonic products!&quot;</em>

If Male&gt;
<em>&quot;Hello Sir! You're looking burly today. Perhaps I can interest you in some of our fine home repair or sports-commentary-and-beverage-acquisition modules today?&quot;</em>

If Old&gt;
<em>&quot;Hello sir/madam! I'm here to make your grandchildren call you more often. Could you please locate your credit stick and wave it in front of the screen for me?&quot;</em>

 

Move on to <strong>The Elevator Speech:</strong>

<em>&quot;Matheson-Ford takes pride in our entire Helpmate line of domestic bosonic automatons. We have the safe and cost-effective Troglodyte series of low-intelligence, high durability cleaning and maintenance units. </em>

<em>Or perhaps you'd like to upgrade to a Scullion series cleaning and caretaking unit: now with advanced reasoning technology?</em>

<em>And if you want a true companion with advanced logic and conversational skills, we're now offering deep discounts on our award-winning Jeeves line of quasi-sentient, fully autonomous helpmates. Now featuring our proprietary ThinkRight architecture!</em>

<em>How many may I put you down for?&quot;</em>
